Wednesday, August 6, 2008


This is an excerpt from my book The Miseducation Of Black Pipe

The Black Pipe Commandments

“I have been in this game for years, it made me an animal. There’s rules to this shit I wrote me a manual, a step by step booklet to get your game on track not your wig push back” The Notorious B.I.G. dropped a jewel when he dropped the ten crack commandments it was both informative and humorous. Brothers have got the game twisted. Everybody wants to be a player but do not know how to play the game. I felt that I needed to drop some rules for the brothers out there; they are messing up what others have laid down. I feel that rules are like commandments. They should always be followed and never should be bended. If they are followed correctly a brother should have no problem maintaining his status. The First Black Pipe Commandment is that Brothers should tell the truth from the beginning when they meet a girl. I live by the motto “It is what it is”. This means that you are not my girl and I am not your man, we are two adults having consensual sex. Brothers lie to girls to have sex with them not thinking that maybe the girl only wanted to have sex also. The most important part of this rule is that the boundaries have already been set. The girl knows that you are only interested in sex and nothing else. Brothers complicate things when they lie to a girl and tell her they want a relationship when they only want sex. The female will believe you want to be her man and will start believing you two are together. Everything will be going smooth until your wife finds out about the other woman. When your wife confronts the other girl the first thing the other woman will say to her is “he told me he didn’t have a girlfriend”. Every man is guilty of having done this one time or another. There should be no need to lie to a girl, she can only say no and you cannot miss what you never had.
The Second Black Pipe Commandment is that Brothers need to stop treating the one that they are in a relationship with like the girl they are only sleeping with. The way most guys get caught cheating is they change the way they treat their girlfriends. They become more hostile and become very defensive when they are asked a question. They snap at her when she asks him a question. Gentleman this is a sure fire way for your girlfriend to get suspicious and start playing detective. I had a friend name Tony who was creeping on his wife. Tony would start talking to his wife like she was a girl he just met. They would get in arguments and he would call her disrespectful names. He began doing things to her that he did not do before he got a side girl. It was not long before he started to slip up at home and talk to his wife about things he did with his girlfriend that he thought he did with her, needless to say his wife started to put two and two together and she left him.
The Third Black Pipe Commandment is that Brother’s need to stop bragging to their boys about what their sexual escapades did to them. Brothers are envious of each other when it comes to sexual conquest. When Brothers meet a girl that turns them out sexually we want to brag about it to the world, so we tell our boy who is both envious and scheming. Your boy is scheming on how he can get this girl away from you and in his arms. I had a friend name Fred who told all his friends about this girl he had that was bisexual and had a girlfriend who was down for threesomes. Fred’s friend Wayne was envious of him and plotted on how to get the girl from him. Wayne would always try to play Wayne out in front of the girl and talk bad about him to the girl. The girl would ignore Wayne and tell Fred that Wayne was hating on him but Fred would just laugh it off. When Wayne told the girl that Fred was talking about her sexuality to everybody she dumped Fred and got with him. Brothers should know to not brag to their friends about any woman they meet.
The Fourth Black Pipe Commandment is that brothers need to stop using easy passwords for their Voicemail code on their cell phone. The most incriminating evidence is the message on your voice mail that your girl has heard. I remember a time when my girlfriend took my voice mail code off of her work phone and went on the computer and pulled up my phone records for the last six months. She then proceeded too call all the numbers that she did not recognize and questioned every girl who answered about the nature of our relationship. A few girls held me down because I told them beforehand that I had an inquisitive girlfriend, but one of them wanted to mess my situation up and told my girl all types of lies. I was upset but that is one of the consequences of the game. I was busted and I had no one to blame but myself because I let my girlfriend find my code. I got out of the sticky situation but I still hear about it every time we have an argument.
The Fifth Black Pipe Commandment is very controversial and may backfire on you. I do not suggest you try to apply it if you are not a master in your craft. The Fifth Black Pipe Commandment is that if your girl’s friend acts like she does not like you chances are she is really feeling you and is jealous of your girl. Many men meet their girl when she is out with her friends. Sometimes all the girls will be feeling you, so you will choose the one that you are attracted to. The other girls maybe bitter and have harsh feelings towards you because you chose some one else. As the relationship progresses between your girl and you, she will brag to her friends about all the things that you do for. There will be the one girl who will stay bitter towards you for no other reason but the fact that you did not chose her. She will tell your girl every time that she bumps into you in the club. Every place that you and her run into each other she will tell your girl everything you do. She will be in your girl’s ear telling her that you are a dog and up to no good. The only way you can get this girl off your back is to push up on the girl and see if she takes the bait. A man who is smooth and has his game down tight can pull this off; but I suggest that anybody who is a freshman in this game should not attempt this. A true player can push up on the friend, sleep with her so she can back up off you and give your relationship some space. She can no longer hold over your head what you do because she slept with you. This makes her an unfaithful friend and a betrayer of your girls trust. If she was truly your girl’s friend she will be feeling guilty and keep your affair a secret, if she is a vindictive person you and your relationship is in trouble. The best part of this Commandment is that if you are able to pull it off you get to kill two birds with one stone, you get too knock down two friends and you have dirt on the friend so she can’t tell.
The Sixth Black Pipe Commandment is that Brothers need to explain clearly about what role they want the other woman to play. I believe that all relationships are similar to Basketball teams. I consider my team the Lakers and I am Shaquille O’Neal, my girl is Kobe Bryant. I do not need another star on my team I need a role player like Devan George or Robert Horry. I do not have enough shot attempts or minutes for Tracey McGrady. Tracey and Kobe play the same position there is not enough minutes or shot attempts for me to keep them both, one has to go. I always tell my girl that the team runs through me she can get her shots off after I get my shots, but I am the focal point of the team. A team with Shaq, Kobe, and Tracey will look good on paper but it will destroy the chemistry of my team. I need role players on my team not another star.
The Seventh Black Pipe Commandment is that brothers need to stop fronting. We Brothers have a nasty habit of saying something and not really meaning it. We may be saying it out of anger and not clearly thinking but the words still leave our mouths. I had a friend named Darius who had a habit of doing this. He would argue with his girl when we were around and tell her that she was just his jump off and not his girl. We would always tell him that he did not have to front for us. He would tell her that she was free to do what ever she wanted to do. If this was true there was nothing wrong with telling her that, it is important to let a girl know where she stands. The problem was the words would leave his mouth but his actions would be saying something totally different. He was talking out his ass. Darius’s girl got tired of hearing him say this and started to do her thing like he instructed her to do. She would go on dates with other dudes and he would be getting upset and be ready to fight. She would throw in his face “You told me to do me”, so I am doing me. Darius would be in a funk, but he only had himself to blame. Talking out his ass and not really meaning it had him looking stupid. So I suggest to brothers if you do not mean it you should not say it because you might look stupid. The Eight Black Pipe Commandment is Brothers need to stop telling their girls about the things their friends do. If your friend has several women that he is seeing at the same time and your wife or girlfriend knows about it chances are she doesn’t want you to hang with him. I have a friend named D.J. who is married but has women all over the city. We would hang out occasionally and when my girl found out I was hanging with him she would have an immediate attitude. No matter what we were doing she always assumed that D.J. was hooking me up with women. It was my fault because I would tell her the things that D.J. would do with different women. Whenever we hung out at a club she would see D.J. with different women that weren’t his wife. When she would question me about it I would tell her that the girl was somebody he was messing with. I was at fault because I didn’t tell him not to bring different women around my wife but as a participant in the Game with both should have known better. I however broke what is the Third Black Pipe Commandment but in its regards to my wife. I spoke about what D.J. does to my wife when I should have known better. My friendship with D.J. caused friction in my household. I was made to choose between hanging with my friend and maintaining my relationship. The Ninth Black Pipe Commandment is that Brothers need to respect the Game, “Do unto others as you will have others do unto you”. Brothers are willing to cheat and creep on their girlfriends with no remorse but when the shoes are reversed they become angry and lose control. If you are able to do it expect that your girl can and will do the same thing also. I do not suggest for anyone to follow my Commandments if they are not ready for a life of constant maneuvering and lying, unfortunately that is the true life of a player. I am only laying down Commandments that should be followed if you are serious about laying your game down.